Update

*WARNING! After a break of a week or so without coffee, Im a bit wired today. Some of what I say may not make any sense.

So, I have officially begun MY Seattle job search.

Compared to my roomies, I feel both fortunate and unfortunate. I feel fortunate that I have no post high school education to really speak of, and am a generalist, therefore I dont have to worry about putting together a FANTASTIC resume or applying for jobs that really suit me. I mean, I put together my resume, and I think its nice, and Im applying for jobs that I think I might really adapt to well, with some sort of future. I just know that basically any job I apply for or get will most likely be entry level positions.

I feel unfortunate, though, for those same reasons. It makes finding a job very touch and go. Im sure a lot of my readers may have realized- when you apply for entry level, thats when you really have to weed through the thousands of telemarketing jobs, the "We want energetic people who want to make money!" jobs, the jobs where you sell paintings out of the back of a van (mostly to me at gas stations. "Hey man, you like art?" says the guy who looks vaguely like Ralph Macchio.)

Anyhow, the search has begun, and I can only hope to be as successful as I was last time.

In other news.....

Work has been pretty boring lately. I have my little moments of "IM BUSY", but for the most part, it feels like a giant waste of time. Can anyone imagine not being dependant on the almighty paycheck? What if we could spend our last few weeks here spending time with friends, spending time with Texas, spending time soaking up the last we will get of everything for a while that isnt absolutely new?

I know what my dreams are. Having a family, a wife or partner or whatever who understands who I am and loves me, children who Im proud of, and being able to take care of them, if not above and beyond what my parents did, at least being able to make them feel comfortable. Pretty simple, really. But you know...being disgustingly rich.....thats something to sit right down and consider sometimes.

On a completely random note, Im looking through playlists here on Rhapsody. When will effing Blind Melon stop being listed!? THEY HAD ONE SONG, and Im telling you, straight from my heart, IT WAS OLD WHEN IT CAME OUT. GAH.

All that being said, how is everyone?

Just when you thought things were cooling down...

Current mood: disappointed

Ya know, I thought that the absolute, blank-minded patriotism in this country was easing off. I felt there for a second that people were starting to come out of this shell of blindly supporting their country and government, supporting the war just because we were in it, and supporting the President because he was President during a national tragedy. (Im dumbing things down here a bit, so just go with me for a sec) I thought people might begin to THINK, maybe not up to the standard I really want, but up to a standard of some intelligent beings. Then I saw this today:

http://www.msnbc.com/modules/interactive.aspx?type=ss&launch=13011093,4999736&pg=10

This is a webpage MSNBC put up, where you can go and vote on the Most American Place in America.

I know Im being overly sensitive. I know its just a cute little thing to do, post Memorial Day, to feel good, to bring up feelings of a Norman Rockwell-type Americana. We can give ourselves a big-ol' pat on the back for being born in a place where we are fortunate enough to have ancestors who died for us. But the language, and a few other things disturb me about this.

The Most AMERICAN Place? Dudes, its all in America. The reason Im being anal about this is people have been, for far too long, fiercely defensive of their patriotism and their love for the country. Ive heard someone say, recently, "These Mexicans? They aint American. I was BORN here. I got more right to lay claim to American rights."

In a time when people are debating how American some people (races, cultures, sexual orientations) are, I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable debating how American some PLACES are. What if Dallas were up there, and we got a really low vote? Would people read this, and have an instant dislike for Dallas? Perhaps Texas?

If you said "Chris, ya moron, no one has those kinds of feelings right off the bat, from looking at a simple poll on MSNBC", then you obviously have no idea how stupid people are.

And you know another reason Im sensitive about this language and how this thing was put together? Because I have a feeling that the marketers and designers thought the same things I do. I think this was worded and designed in such a fashion to appeal to the blind faith that people have for this country nowadays. It feels very lowest common denominator to me.

Why do I feel this way? One of the places up for Most American Place is the French Quarter in New Orleans. Do you think it would be there if they hadnt just survived Hurricane Katrina? Before Katrina, when someone, with a dreamy look in their eye, said "Im going on the road to see me some America", was the first thing you thought of the FRENCH Quarter? Wasnt for me. What speaks America to you? French Quarter. World Trade Center. Oklahoma Federal Building?

Again, Im probably being overly sensitive. But you know what, that's my duty as an American. As a citizen, I have to (should, anyway) get up everyday and think about where my country is going, how my people are feeling and behaving, and the way we are being represented to the world, and to ourselves.

And, furthermore, I know this shit happens every damned day. People see a store run by a Pakistani, but feel more comfortable going in because of an American Flag sticker in the window. People still shell out the dough for those yellow ribbon stickers (which I also feel are kind of intimidating), and tell me you havent thought ONCE "I wonder if they got that just so they werent the only ones without one."

Now, Ive rambled on and on, here, but my point is this: I think, deep down, in a way no one is talking about much, some people are feeling like they aren't American enough. Or Patriotic enough. Or proud to be an American, each and every day. Its these people I feel for, and worry about. I dont know if you've noticed, but I tend to root for the underdog.

People who dont know if their opinions are heard, who dont feel represented, in government or other ways, who dont feel good enough. These are the people we have to worry about. Because, cynical or no, we cant just have life be about the strong. The weak (or the meek, if you prefer) are people, too. I hear some of them are even Americans.