Phantom of the Crappera

Ok, so, after getting excited about the Phantom movie coming out, I asked Kathy if I could borrow her copy of the original cast recording with Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightmon. I thought to myself, "Yeah, I like that song Music of the Night, and All I Ask of You, and that cool organ riff.

After listening to it, I like those same songs and no others. Is this really the show that launched a thousand theatre kids' little imaginations? REALLY!?!? This stinks! All the music (except for the aforementioned songs) are just singsongy talk! It doesnt even rhyme well! Furthermore, "he kills with a thought?" Two people died in the entire show! I've killed more people with my last bowel movement! Am I really supposed to be afraid of someone who has killed only as many people as Karl from Sling Blade? (Also, just between you and me, Michael Crawford's voice doesnt really strike fear in my heart. Its kinda like being terrified of the echoing tones of Charles Nelson Reilly.)

But, besides all that, forgetting about how the songs kinda suck, and the story is kinda drab, I have to admit:

A LASSO? WTF!?!?

LATER

Now, some of you ALW fans out there may point out the fact that the show is supposed to be about romance, or obsession, or love, or hate, etc. I have to say I dont care. This show personaifies to me the fact that love does NOT conquer all, and a show needs to either be funny or tongue in cheek for me to like it especially. A show can do alright without a great plot (look at Neil Simon) but not without a good followthrough. This show doesnt have great music throughout, and I wont even TALK about the book. ("Go now and leave me?" What else could he have said? "Go now and I'll go with you"? "Go now and carry me"? "You stay, I'll go, then when I get back, Raoul goes, then its my turn again....")

My only point is this: I just got through doing Jekyll and Hyde, and that and Sweeney Todd both make this musical look like warmed over silent movies. (Wait, they all are.) Jekyll and Hyde and Sweeney Todd are exciting, you actually wonder how it will end, the music is very cool, the writing, while prosaic at times, sets the mood. Phantom feels like Cats with people. Time will tell if I really care for Lord Lloyd Webber at all.