SEX!

Love, Sex and Romance...
Name: Nutcase Birthdate: 12/28/1981
Hair: Reddish/Blondish Brown Eyes: Green
Height: 6’2”
Gender: SuperMale
How many true relationships have you had?: Um…..2 or three.
Have you ever been in love?: yes
What's your idea of a perfect date?: Being happy and funny together, the entire night.
Where's your favorite place to be kissed?: My neck, my cheek How many sexual partners have you had?:
If we are talking about full-out intercourse: 2
Other than that: like 10, or so
How many people have you kissed?: Not enough!!! MWAH!
Do you like to make the first move?: Sometimes, but sometimes I like to be taken by surprise. Too much of either is too much.
Are you a snuggler?: Yes!!!
Do you kiss on the first date?: And HOW!
Where is the best place you've ever hooked up?: The living room with the window WIDE open for all to see! (IT WAS HOT)
Do you consider yourself to be romantic?: More than anything else.
Are you an angel or a devil in the sack?: A comedian.
Would you ever pay someone for sex?: You mean I don’t already?
Would you ever let someone pay YOU for sex?: Bring on the profitable ‘tang!
Do you keep your eyes open when you kiss?: Only when at a red light.
What was your most embarrassing sexual moment?: When AMAZINGLY drunk one night, I couldn’t rise to the occasion. However, because I was so drunk, I didn’t REALIZE it.
Have your parents ever caught you in a compromising position?: Nah.
Have you ever performed a striptease?: Of sorts.
How about a lapdance?: Ew, no.
Have you ever received a lapdance?: Only in an actual strip club.
Do you like sexual contact?: YES YES YES! The feel of naked hips against my naked hips and I just OOH…..gotta clean the screen.
Are you straight, gay or bi?: Straight, but I DO like Broadway.
Have you ever made out with a member of the opposite sex?: As opposed to the same sex? I have never kissed a boy on the mouth, if that’s what you mean.
Are you a giver or a taker?: Giver, then taker. Or, giver, then sleeper.
What do you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?: Sense of humor, intelligence, smile, ability to be girly, breast size. (not in that order.)
Do you think you've met the person you'll spend the rest of your life with?: Yes.
Do you know who your bridesmaids and groomsmen would be?: Um, I know the groomsmen.
Have you ever regretted a hook-up?: No, I feel like they were all worth it at the time.
Have you ever cheated on a significant other?: No, well, sort of.
Have you ever hooked-up with someone already in a relationship?: There is the famous married woman fiasco.
Have you ever cried over a member of the opposite sex?: A few, but none that ever deserved it.
Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?: Only for three seconds, but it turned out she was just going to break up with me. YAY!
Would you date or marry someone if your parents didn't accept them?: Well…..yeah, but it wouldn’t give that person extra points, for sure.
How about if your friends didn't accept them?: No. With family, they can be crazy, with friends, there HAS to be a reason.
What's the worst relationship you ever had?: Lauren. At graduation, she told me we should break up when we go to college. Mind you, when we go to college THREE MONTHS LATER. I hate that girl, but mostly myself for how I let that happen.
Have you ever done anything sexual while on the road?: Like, literally, driving? No. While on a vacation trip? No.
Would you kiss someone if you didn't love them?: I have so many times before.
Who told you all about sex?: My parents, but mostly television and books.
Are you always horny?: Astoundingly, No.
Are you a flirt?: How you doin’?
Are you a tease?: No, people hafta want what you got for that.
Do you prefer to chase or BE chased?: I prefer to chase, but only if it goes swimmingly.
Do you prefer morning or evening hook-ups?: Evening, but morning is so so nice.
Have you ever pulled an all-nighter with a member of the opposite sex, and woke up in each others arms?: Not exactly, but I have had marathons of waking up, doing it, and going back to sleep.
How old were you at the age of your first kiss?: 7th grade so……..who cares?
How old were you when you lost your virginity?: 20!
Do you sometimes wish you could change that?: Nah.
Do you enjoy being in a relationship?: I love the excitement of a new relationship, but nothing beats being with the person you know you want to be with forever.
Are you currently in one?: Like Indiana Jones, the best and last.
Has anyone ever fallen in love with you?: Yes. Larry King.
Have you ever said "I Love You" and not meant it?: And how!
Are you "noisy" when you get heated?: Yeah, but sometimes too much noise, from a guy, is stupid.
What is your kissing pet peeve?: Too much tongue. I had a girlfriend who left a whitish cake around my mouth every time we made out. I have to puke now.
Do you think you're a good kisser?: I like to hope so. My girlfriend says I am.

Pt 3: Days End, and Exhaustion.

So, to wrap up, we still have to finish trashing out the old place tonight, which will be one of the longest nights ever. But, the furniture thats moving is moved, and our house is pretty much how we want it (until more things can be purchased).

As I was sitting and unwinding yesterday, I was watching some Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, and talking to my long lost girlfriend (who I saw ONCE this weekend, for like an hour) on the phone. It was heaven, or would be if I wasnt exhausted. The movie itself wasnt great, but the commercials were terrific. Hallmark movies always seem to be hit and miss (usually there is some sort of secret involved, or drama, or John Denver, or hilariously old people) but these ads are really amazing. While normally I can watch puppies being eaten by fat asian men without batting an eye, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those commercials brings a literal tear to my eye. They are beautiful, and full of heart, and if you made them something besides what they are, they would be 10% as good.

So, things worked out, sorta. Im exausted, and still not done, and probably not making as much sense as I wanted to here, but we are just about ready for people. Come to the Duncan house if you get a chance, and we'll leave a light on for you. Cheers, and never move again.

Pt. 2: Its all coming back to me

This weekend also marked the first time I saw my father in three years. It had come down to the wire, and we HAD to have more help with a truck to move furniture in. I knew I couldnt call my girlfriends dad, because we had kinda stood him up in a way a couple of times. My exact words were, "I have to deal with Kylie's dad, who will notice if we piss off my dad?" (That being said, I nearly broke into tears in front of my girlfriend. Not very manly.) I should also preface all of this by saying after three years of about a call a year, my dad called me on my birthday. Since then, we have been talking intermittently on the phone, not going to much into the fact he has missed some of the most important things in my life (My loss of virginity (he wouldnt have BEEN THERE, but you know what I mean), my starting smoking, several girlfriends I almost thought I might marry, my 108 jobs, my friends, my ups and downs, my turning 21). The list goes on and on.

Anyhow, dad agreed to come out and help us finish up.

I can only say it is amazing how things come back. Listening to Dad burp and apologize, hearing his really long pointless stories that I actually DO listen to, watching him smoke cigarette after cigarette (wishing I could have one, now), hearing him be MY DAD.

For the most part it was beautiful. At one point he asked if I was still "messing around with that theatre stuff". He immediately said he didnt mean messing around, but doing, and I laughed said it was ok. And it really was. The fact that he said that speaks to me that he realizes part of our problem is the way he treats what I choose to do. It felt nice.

Dad went on and on about the house, and my job, and my girlfriend, and I think I was in heaven briefly. When you have a parent you dont talk to, especially if its just a stupid problem made large by time, you constantly worry about doing too much with yourself, worried that they may miss out on your life. I guess I dont have to worry about that anymore.

This horrible weekend, I made my Dad proud. This horrible weekend was one of the best.

The old sayings never go out of style

So, I learned a lot this weekend about dread, and the feeling of impending doom. I have never really been afraid of dying, only of you know, whats in the dark. What has always filled me with dread and loathing is the feeling of a horrible, oppressive time coming, when my coasting through life will be jarred by actual tough events. Case in point, this weekend Mom and I had to trash out and finish moving our townhouse in Dallas. We had been there for seven years, and had enough crap in there to fill the whale from Pinocchio. ALSO, I had washed my hands of finding a truck to move in, yet Mom really hadnt stepped up, so there was a huge chance we would have to literally leave our furniture on the sidewalk, and have nothing in our house. Saying I was not looking forward to this would not be sufficient. You ever have those things to do that you kinda touch on suicide as a viable means of getting out of it? That was me. "oh wouldnt it be lovely to fake my own death and get out of homework."

I hate this feeling, because all it does is make this horrible time draw out like a blade. I wish I could turn off this feeling, because it keeps me from having a happy-go-lucky attitude (happily complaining, anyway), and also makes me feel as if I should have worried more. That really sucks.

But, there is a good point of this rant, and that is I figured out that eventually, really, all things shall pass. By next tomorrow, when I wake up, we will have nothing to do with that horrible place in Dallas, and we can fully begin our new life in Denton. Kylie and Ben and Kathy and all of my friends can come over and chill in my fresh new pad, made Greg Brady-style by my mother being there. You cant argue with that.

Today

Today, I have three different things to talk about. This has been a big horrible weekend, with strange nuggets of goodness. What follows is probably the biggest blog I will ever undertake, so Im going to break it into pieces. Enjoy.

Today

Morons with albums

Well, I heard the other day that veteran actor Robert Downey, Jr. is putting out an album. Are we not ready as a race to let this guy go? Is this an oscar winning actor we are talking about? What are we really missing out on by not having him on the scene? Another Chances Are? Or the more serious roles, like in US Marshals? I hate that dude. (Although, his "In the spoon by noon" monologue leaves me in stitches to this day.)

Robert Downey, Jr. is no Emilio Estevez. The worst thing Emilio ever did was coach a childrens hockey team. We should all be so bad. Remember when you saw Emilio in Mission:Impossible? Didn't you think, "Hey, I didn't know he was in this! Cool! Estevez!" He needs to come back. Whatever he does, from a new Men at Work with brother Charlie, to a guest stint on The West Wing with father Martin, I will be watching, a fan forever. (He was married to Paula for god's sake!) I miss him.

On a seriously different note, I got the Kevin Spacey "Beyond the Sea" album the other day. While the linear notes lead me to believe he may have a bit of a high opinion of himself, I could listen to this album all day. (I actually have.) All hail actors with cool movies and theatre backgrounds!

Short rant

Now, today is Inauguration day (or however the hell its spelled), and while I am unhappy, I dont want to ally myself with those people who are hiding under the bed, or having as many abortions as possible today, or just complaining constantly at work. While Im not happy with the way the election worked out, I dont want everyone to feel like it will actually make a difference in the long run. Bush, while being certainly annoying, is not the anti christ, and I dont think the end of the world is any more around the corner than it was in Clinton's term. I dont think back alley abortions are quite around the corner, nor do I think we will rape the poor, or kill everyone in prison, or fall into a new depression (which I hear every time the economy goes down. Put your ear right next to the computer so you can hear me: NOTHING WILL BE AS BAD AS THE FIRST ONE. REAL DEPRESSION ERA PEOPLE ARE SPINNING IN THEIR GRAVES EVERY TIME YOU SAY "It's like Of Mice And Men!" EVERY TIME YOU CAN'T GET A THIRD TV FOR YOUR HOUSE!)

I think Im done. Chill out, ya freaks.

Does no one else have time to think of these things?

Hello, my loyal fans. Its time for my first new post of the year. Many things have happened since my last (a successful promise ring gift, an unsuccessful attempt to be civil to soon-to-be ex-roommates, a rather successful attempt to kill a few brain cells), but I am going to keep this one simple with a complaint about commercials.

Has anyone seen the new Price-Waterhouse spots with Sam Waterston? Its all pretty standard stuff ("My mortgage company gives money to terrorist organizations and Martha Stewart!", "My mortgage company anally raped me with their barblike penises, then stomped on my head until I thought I was an ewok!", "My mortgage company, Price-Waterhouse, got me a million dollars, and beejays by ten of the twelve top Penthouse Pets!"). Then Sam Waterston is standing somewhere telling us how P-W is the key to immortality. While he is giving his spiel, the shot keeps jumping between three cameras, and he doesn't move. Are they trying to make this seem behind the scenes? Why don't they just have a shot of him getting a fat check from P-W? It seems to me very disillusioning, and I would seriously look at my ad company.

Then again, have you seen some of the commercials out there? Some are great (Sonic guys) but most are crap. I know this is an old old old old complaint, but really! I think we are all pretty decided as to what and where we will shop, and for how much and what not. Ads are the ONLY WAY we will change our minds. Are these people really putting their hat in the ring with "Zoom zoom?" Two thumbs down, says I.