What's next? Primus at the old folks home?

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So, I have spent the past few days fasting and sitting in front of the computer, listening to the ribald and rocking sounds of Offspring. Catpants and I got into a big discussion about this band yesterday when she heard me singing quietly ("You can do it!") and doing my little dance (if you haven't experienced my little dance, ask for a viewing the next time you see me). Catpants and I both cut our teeth (so to speak) on Keep Em Separated, and have always been HUGE fans. She happened to ask if I knew what kind of people went to Offspring shows. I had actually just looked at a photo album on their website (www.offspring.com) and told her it looked like a few college students, a few high school students, and a few junior high schoolers with their whole families.

What the heck is with the last one? When did the Offspring become Raffi? Granted, I think its cool when a family shares its music, especially if its good. But listening to a hard rock combo makes you feel like maybe you COULD be cool at some point. This is like finding out the guy you really had a crush on was Wayne Newton. (Who, by the way, I was told I resemble the other day by the ever stately half-crazed woman in the gas station. She claimed I reminded her of the early days of Wayne, when he was on the Lucy show. Wasn't that Tennessee Ernie Ford? Do I look like him? How long can a parenthetical phrase be? Better wrap up.)

Anyhow, my point is, I guess we are getting older. But where does this end? Paris Hilton on the cover of Modern Maturity? Natalie Portman kinda looking weird, like Kathleen Turner does now? Johnny Knoxville buying a ranch in Montana, and doing a Redbook interview titled "No Longer A Jackass"?

I dont wanna grow up.