Weekly World Wacko

If you have NO OTHER REASON to read the Weekly World News (and you don't), read it for quote's like this, in a story about a teen's head exploding at a loud rock concert.

"It was completely gross," said Tiffany Bonner, 16, Gerry's girlfriend. "The music was really loud during 'In the Dark Hole' and Gerry looked a little scary. Then during the next song his head suddenly exploded." She added, "And don't say I'm, like, his 'former' girlfriend because even though Jerry's skull fell all apart and he's dead, I'll love him forever. I saved a piece of his -- what did they call it? cranieminem? Something?"

Lookout, Woodward and Bernstein.