I never had a Bar Mitzvah

So today I was thinking about that movie, (which I will be watching tonight, prolly), and thinking about my dream acting role (something funny, but sad, with a big knockdown, dragout, crying scene). You know that feeling you have when you are crying, and you sob so hard, and its like like you are all cried out, but you still have more crying to do? Like you cant possibly cry hard enough?

It occurred to me that I havent had that feeling in years. Literally years. I guess it means I havent had anything to cry about like that for years, which is a good thing, but its kinda sad, because I feel like I have years worth of crying built up. It sits on my heart like the stress of work sits in my shoulder muscles.

Hmmm. It makes me wonder if this is how its supposed to be, for men, or adults, or something. Granted, I dont wanna be Jimmy Swaggert, always in tears for Jesus, or anything. But when did we reach the age that we just never cry anymore? I mean, I cry at movies, or at a particularly sad book, or sometimes I even shed a tear for a breakup or something. But I havent really really cried in a long time. Does this mean I never will, really, again?

(knocking on wood, wanting NO REASON to cry.)

On a side note, I dont know if yall have noticed, but since I started dating Mary, I have so much more to blog about.