Another pointless relationship post

*Normally, I would make some sort of scathing jokes about the passing of Proposition 2 which showed how so many people were wrong, and we were right. But I just don't have it in me. I'm quickly losing faith in humanity. It seems to me now the only beauty in humanity can be found person to person. Goddamn.

So, in the past couple weeks, I have been out on one date with a girl I see almost every day. She is the niece of the director of my show. She is sweet, gorgeous, and I'm vaguely certain now that she spends her days and nights thinking of ways to keep me in the dark as to how she feels.

Literally, in the same night, I will get a clear cut "I want to date you" signal, and then five minutes later, get what should be a clear cut "I'm not interested" signal. F'rinstance:

One night, she had said that she would bring me some leftover dinner she had made. She got to rehearsal, no dinner, and she said that they had eaten it all. Understandable, but not a big sign of pure romance someone feels for you. Then, later on that night, I asked her if there was any chance of a post show date this weekend, to which she replied "Very good chance!"

I guess Im overthinking this. (I have been known to do that.) It would normally be a whole lot easier to blame it on myself, and say that maybe Im coming on too strong. But then, a second date isnt really that much to ask.

Man I dont even know. I had been being very good and down to earth about girls. Despite all of the horrible things I went through this year, I pretty much blamed it all on fate or the craziness of others. I try to keep a good head on my shoulders, and be myself as much as possible. But this girl....she makes me nervous. I mean, truly, I cant be funny or charming, socially-awkward nervous. In a good way, in that I really like her. In a bad way, in that I act retardedly.

Well, as Ive rationalized before, I have nothing better to do, relationship wise. Ill keep you updated. As far as I know, we are supposed to have a date SOMETIME this weekend. We'll see.