Darkness Surrounds

By the way, Ive pretty much started posting my blogs on Myspace. I only keep this one because I have 2 years of blogs on it.

So, I have been down lately. "Whats new?" you might ask, with a heavy sarcastic tone. God, I hate you. Whats new is that I normally dont get to the point where Im losing my faith. These are the things getting me down (in no particular order).

*I hate money.*I hate cars, and the fact that we need them here.*I hate feeling stupid. I hate making mistakes.*I hate not knowing whats going on in my love life. I was telling a friend earlier this week, its fine when I dont really care. When I dont care, I act all non-chalant, which for some reason seems attractive to some girls. When I really care, either about the relationship or about the person, I tend to lose all coolness, and become this blithering idiot about women, who knows nothing, and has no sensitivity towards what people might be thinking.

So yeah. As per usual, I have had a few happy moments mixed in here. Things are not all bad. But I was ranting to myself the other night:

How can my friends and I make it in this world when this world and the fate which resides in it seems stacked against us? How can we rise above, and become the people we want to be, if we....CANT? It seems to me that everyone who has made it to some level of success has been born into it somehow. All of my friends are the best people I can think of. Beautiful, caring, smart, funny people. And I see them shit on, day in, day out. I weep (figuratively) for my friend's luck sometimes. Even moreso than my own. If ANYONE deserves a break in life, its my friends. But no. We are fucked in every way, at least monthly.

I know this is sounding dark, and Im sorry, I dont have a happy ending here. Im feeling alright (dont worry about me and sharp objects or anything.) Consider this a plea to the world at large. Or a prayer to whatever gods there may be, if you prefer.

We deserve better. You and me and all of our friends. We are the people who were supposed to be the future. The smart, artistic ones in school. The heirs to the world. We are being fucked. Stop it.